Thursday, April 17, 2014

.vulnerability.


"To share your weakness is to make yourself vulnerable; to make yourself vulnerable is to show your strength." Criss Jami

Last week I was presented with the opportunity to share part of my story that I don't often talk about.  Depression.  I didn't exactly know why God was asking me to do it before hand but I followed His lead anyhow.

I opened up and shared how motherhood is a lonely place sometimes.  The first few months with Lydia I often felt alone.  She was my first and I thought motherhood would come naturally, when it didn't I didn't know what to do.  I struggled.

Then again when Tariku came home.  The struggle that came with those first few months was intense.  I was so angry.  Angry that Tariku was harder then hard.  Angry that I was isolated.  Angry that I "did it to myself by opening my home to adoption".  

Talking about depression and being open has made me understand now more then ever that I was not alone, others struggle too.  Last week I didn't understand why God would want me to share this part of my journey, it is not a pretty section.  However, since sharing my struggles more then a handful of people have opened up to me about their struggles too.  

When we open up and become vulnerable we invite others to do the same, causing our friendships to become deeper. It makes us more aware of how we can help each other.  It makes us understand that we all struggle and that none of us are alone.  It makes us understand how to better love. 

I am thankful God gave me the opportunity.  Even when the opportunity is hard and I stand shaky.

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