Friday, February 7, 2014

.it is possible.... in HIM.

One year ago, this week, Aaron and I were wrestling with God.  We were being tossed back and forth and could not for the life of us decide what to do on a circumstance that had been handed our way.  We felt like Jacob from the Old Testament and we didn't sleep for days, at least not any deep sleep.  Every single hour was spent thinking about this huge decision.  We were wrestling with the idea of adding Fares to our family through adoption.

We sought out help and prayer from our pastors and close friends.  We discussed every reason on both sides of why we should or why we shouldn't add him to our family.  Most of the people we talked with thought we were crazy even considering the idea and many told us, "you can't save them all".  Some great friends told us that there was no wrong decision in which way to go..... but for us there would have been because we just "knew" Fares was ours.

During that week we really did wrestle.  We struggled.  We were just getting over a move finally settling in.  We were finally making it through each day with Tariku in a positive light.  I was finally over my morning sickness with our fourth - who was coming in June!  We were wrestling.  On the one side was God's will, His desire for us and our family.  And on the other side was our will..... to just be done, to take a break from adding children, to be "normal" for a while, to take a hiatus from the crazy.

In our human nature we asked questions like, how in the world will we raise adoption money again?  How in the world will we have a baby and an 11 year old?  How in the world will we do all the paperwork?  How in the world will we not fall apart?

And God's answer was simple..... "because I planned this for You.  For your family.  And with me all things are possible."  You see that week we had so many questions, but everything we lifted to God and the answer was always the same, "with ME all things are possible".  

And so we went forward, we followed HIS will and we said, "yes".  We told the Lord that by us following HIS will HE would need to provide.  He would need to bless us.  I specifically told the Lord, "ok, we are doing this, but YOU need to do the fundraising.... because Lord this is a lot".

Looking back I see miracle after miracle in the journey to bring Fares home.  God gave us the courage we needed to move forward when many people were not on our side.  God provided us with all the money!  God generously gave us a happy baby!  God provided me with the organization I needed and zeal to get all the paperwork done in record time. God provided us with friends who helped tell us about parenting older children (and this continues).  And HE is providing us with everything we need to not fall apart.

A year ago we made the decision to continue to follow where God was leading our family.  I am so glad we did.  I am so glad we let HIM use us to show that HE is the God of miracles.

If you feel like God is pointing you in a direction and your scared, ask HIM for courage!  If your wrestling with something, give it to HIM and let HIM lead you.  If you feel overwhelmed with what HE gave you, pray for His peace to surround.  Our God is the God who gives!  

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