.20 week baby bump. It is hard for me to believe that I am already halfway through this pregnancy. Our fall was insanely busy but half way.....already! This little one has blessed me. I was not a big fan of being pregnant until this one. To be totally honest I didn't like the first pregnancy at all and the second one I hated - that one I was hands down miserable.
My first pregnancy was alright but I worried about everything. I read every book and knew exactly what day I was on and if something was not in a chapter or didn't line up with where it should have I sort of panicked. I think it was a first time mom thing. I was nervous and anticipated each day. I did alright physically but the worry often took over.
Pregnancy two came along and I threw up a lot. Like all the time. It was awful. I also had horrible back pain the entire pregnancy which we came to find out was due to the fact that I had unaligned my sacrum (the lowest part of your spine) when Lydia (the first) was born. Physically I was miserable, mentally I was exhausted, hormonally I was all over the place. It Was Not Fun. Never, ever, did I want to repeat that pregnancy. It made me think they would all be horrible.
Upon finding out we were expecting this little one I was nervous that this pregnancy would go like the last. I was anxious that morning sickness would be awful and my back would be killer, again. However, it turns out this one has been amazing. Don't get me wrong I had morning sickness, but it was no where near Asher's and I thanked God for that. Since the morning sickness ended I have had energy and my back has not been too horrible, yet. It has been nice to be able to enjoy this little one. The baby has started to move around & kick and it is fun to try and figure out it's personality a bit before it is born.
Another reason I believe I am cherishing this pregnancy more is because I know it is a gift. Of course I knew that before, but I knew very few people struggling with infertility & miscarriages before. Now I do. I didn't realize how precious it is to be able to carry a child. Over this past year and a half I have become friends with multiple women who have struggled with infertility and loss. And one of my best friends lost a little one during this time too. I have cried with women about their losses and struggles. And in turn the little one I now carry becomes even bigger a blessing, because I know that each day with him or her is precious. Through getting closer to other women, my friends and sisters, I am more aware of how each baby is a delicate gift one to be cherished - even in the rough moments. It is an amazing blessing to be able to get pregnant and carry my children to term, healthy. It is a miracle. Each child. Something I hope not to take for granted.
So, little babe we are half way. Growing together & I love it. And I love you. Can't wait to meet you in June! .20 week baby bump.
*As we are half way I have been getting asked a lot if we will find out the gender..... the answer maybe - most likely, yes. We didn't find out with the others but we might switch it up for fun. However, if we do find out it will be kept a secret by just Aaron and I until June (not even our parents or siblings will know - which is going to kill them, haha). So everyone else will have to wait and see :)