Monday, March 19, 2012

.I CAN.

A while ago I read somewhere some advice to mom's waiting to bring their children home.  A lot of the suggestions were things I read all over, but one really stuck out to me.  This mother stated that she wished she would have not allowed herself to want to parent her children while they waited - since obviously it is hard from half way across the globe.  She realized in her wait that she just needed to let go and not even want to be her child's parent yet.

I thought that was an interesting tip and I tucked it away for such a time as now.....but it took me two steps out of the orphanage gates to know that I can't do that.  My son has ALL OF ME and I can't get over the fact that I am head over heals for this boy. And I can't wait to love on him.  I just can't.  

This wait has been hard and although I can't stop loving our son, even from this far off world, I can do other things while we wait.  

I can pray for my son.

I can pray for his "brothers".

I can pray for his "brothers" families.

I can pray for his birth family - wherever they are.

I can pray for everyone involved in his case & life, those playing huge roles and those with fragments of a second. 

I can pray for our transition - we will need that!

I can organize a drive for an orphanage in his community.

I can collect 200+ toothbrushes and 50+ tubes of toothpaste to light up faces in Ethiopia.

I can get those around me involved.

I can advocate from where I am.

I can share stories of those I met that I love.  The stories like Birtukan's and Abels.

I can love the two littles that are here right in front of me.

I can tell them stories of their brother and show them pictures of him.

I can teach our children how to help others by letting them help me (seriously lots of donations).

I can fund-raise, oh I can fund-raise!

I can learn to be patient.

I can inspire others to follow in this glorious path that God let us be a part of ;)

I can prepare my home.  

I can learn to be a better friend.

I can learn to show grace - oh, this is tough one God is teaching me.

I can pray for other families that wait.

I can pray that God MOVES Mountains.

I can lean on my husband.

I can grow closer to the Lord.

I can.  

I can. 

I can.

I might be filled with the pain of missing our son.  However, this waiting is not being done in vain or self pitty.  Sometimes it is not pretty, sometimes I fail - but He is patient and I am learning to be.  I can't for one minute get our son out of my heart.  I can't for one second not want to parent him NOW.  But I can do a lot of other things that bring joy in this season of wait.   I can let God use me and grow me through this time.  I can.  I can.  I can.

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