Sunday, January 8, 2012

.thoughts before leaving.

A glimpse at the orphanage we regularly visited in Liberia

.thoughts before leaving.  We are leaving this afternoon and I could not be more thrilled.  Earlier this week I wrote a letter to my friend that explains some emotions I have been feeling as we prepared to leave.  She asked me if she could share it and the letter has been on her blog for a couple days.  I am posting it here now because I wanted to share it too and it fits as we are about to take off.  

So as I am shopping for the stuff tonight to bring with hits me like a ton of bricks and I start to pray that I won't break down in the middle of the store.  I remembered the first time we went to the orpahanage and how much our hearts were shattered - into a million and a half pieces each, or more.  And then I think about going back to an orphanage and my heart starts to hurt again, but this time it is not a hurt of sadness, helplessness, and horror.  This is an overwhelming feeling of joy and gratitude for my son and his friends that I have come to adore and love as well.  And the overwhelming thought that I will be holding them all soon.

And then God slaps me again and makes me realize that I got to where I am because of where He put me with you.  He made us hurt so bad in Liberia so we would both be moved to do something about it. He made us hurt so that we would NOT EVER FORGET.  That was His purpose in our trip.  We both would probably not have our sons if our hearts did not shatter that first day.  He could have sent us to a nice orphanage that was bad but bearable.  But He sent us to a fricken hole in the wall where our hearts were shattered like the bricks that use to be the building.  And I am so grateful for that.  Because I was moved enough to want to do more about it.

Sure, the orphanage I will go to won't be that bad.  But the child He is placing in our family has the same needs as those precious little Liberians - a family.  And yes our son probably would have gotten a family no matter what (a known fact)....but who would not have one then?  Someone who is out there and waiting..... 

   I will be posting, if I can, from Ethiopia.  If you don't hear from me this week have a good one!  And if you could, remember us in your prayers this week - especially Friday the 13th, which is court day for us!  Thanks.  .thoughts before leaving. 

1 comment:

Anna of IHOD said...

Wow, its so exciting to see you come to this point! Praying for you all the way!