Monday, October 24, 2011

.the funk I was in.

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this picture is a little depressing, even for me.....photo source 

.the funk I was in.   Oh, man.  Where do I even begin.  These past two weeks have been rough, emotionally.

First I want to say blogging is great, online forums are wonderful, and groups on etsy are fantastic too.  The women I have meet through any of the ways listed have been nothing short of amazing, many have become good friends, many are great to go to when I have a question.  Overall the community formed with adopting families helps encourage me through this journey.  They know the feelings I am feeling, because they are there.  At the same step as me.  They get it.  They know, because they are living the good and bad days.  

That said, when you connect with other adopting parents you start to compare stories.  And then you start to wonder things.  People probably wondered how in the world we got a referral less then 6 months after starting the process.  People were probably confused when my friend Mandie got a referral only 2 weeks after sending her dossier.  And both are amazing stories to share because we both opened our hearts more then we thought we could.

But, we compare.  And sometimes that is our downfall.  A couple of weeks ago many families I know started to get their court dates.  These families got their referrals around the same time as us.  One family, I know, got a referral a couple weeks after us and they are going to meet their precious daughter in December!  So, naturally you would think, we would have our court dates around them too.......wrong!  Because we didn't do things in the "natural" adoption order we will still be waiting a while.  Our dossier was just sent last week which will tack on a couple extra months.  And although I knew this, it still hurts - because the referral dates are so close.  

Even though I knew we would have to wait longer last week I was thinking this is not fair, we should get to go too.  The comparisons, and the jealousy, and envy are not from the Lord.  They are not good to have on this journey that is already heavy enough.  And these burdens I was caring around for the past two weeks, on top of strep throat, ear infections, and the pink eye that invaded our house, were not good.  Not good at all.

Friends, please don't compare yourself to anyone else in this journey.  Or anyone else no matter what journey your on.  We all have our own stories.  And we should feel blessed by the story the Lord is giving us to live.  I am grateful for the story we are living, I am humbled daily that God would chose us to parent this precious little boy.  And even though I have to wait a little bit longer then those around me......someday he will be home.  And we will be living out a brand new chapter of events.  How much more blessed could we be?  .the funk I was in. 

More soon on how I got out of the funk..... 

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