Monday, April 25, 2011

.showing up.

.showing up.  On Thursday I went to a doctors appointment while I waited - God showed up.  Lately I have been thinking about some hard issues in adoption.  I am not doubting our decision at all, I am just more acutely aware of how difficult this path will be.  I am nervous about how we will raise the money, I am nervous about how long the adoption will take.  But mostly I am nervous for when we come home with our child.  What will happen then?  Everyone pictures a nice quite house with good little children that listen and play well together.  But if you have children already, you know the peaceful days and quite moments are few and far between.  That life seems like a pre-child dream of some sort, that expecting mothers fantasize about.  I am really nervous for the transition of this new child or children into our home.

So, as luck would have it - at the doctors office, I randomly picked up a magazine and opened it.  When I looked down I realized the article I turned to was about adoption.  Not just the amazing part of it, the part after the transition - but the hard, the difficult, the parts I am worried about.  (By the way, nothing on the cover even suggested adoption).  I don't think it happened by chance, I am 100% sure God put it right there for me to pick up.  It is amazing how He works because although I have had these fears for a couple weeks I have not prayed about them.  Yet, He still knows.  He knows our deepest thoughts and everything about us.  He encourages us right when we need Him to.

The article I read was in Good Housekeeping and is called Love Medicine, from the February 2011 issue.  This link has the full article - alleluia!  In it are my fears lived out, coming home with a difficult, traumatized child.  However the article also showed what parents did, and are doing, to cope once they came home.  I am grateful to have read this article as it shows the truth to adoption.  Many times, I feel, people enter into adoption with the everything will be perfect mindset.  At least that is what is shown.  And do not think about the difficulties.  I am glad to see a report on the hard issues adoptive parents face and how some families have worked through these issues.  It is so important to think of these scenarios.  Not to scare the be-jeez-es out of ourselves, but to better prepare ourselves for the future.

I am sure God flipped open the magazine so that I could find comfort in the fact that others have the same fears, are living them out, and are making it work.  It is so good and such a relief to know we will not be alone when our child/children come home.  We will have others to turn to and agencies to get help from - if we need it.  And God is showing me every single day that He will be there for us and He will know our feelings and what we need.  At exactly the right time.  .showing up.

1 comment:

Future Mama said...

Thank you so much for this!! I worry about this too...especially since we don't have any kids, we have the first-time-parents fears thrown in as well!! Off to read the article :-)

Much love,
Future Mama