Thursday, December 30, 2010

.tough questions.

Yesterday I received this comment:

My understanding of the adoption situation and orphan crisis is NOT that there is a high demand for adoptive parents seeking infants - there are long waiting lists for families waiting for a match to infants. But where the need is, so desperately, is for older child adoption. That's where the need is.

Again, this is based on my own research and if I am wrong please educate me, but it's my understanding that infants are in high demand. We were shocked and appalled to read about situations in South America where babies are stolen from their families because infant adoption is a money-maker and infants are in demand.

So -- I have to ask -- would you consider adopting an older child? I read that you want to help a needy child in Africa. My thoughts are that the infants are not so needy - they will find homes. It's the older kids who are desperately in need of some interested adoptive parents.
 
And to be honest I was not sure how to respond at first.  There are a couple things I want to address in this, and I hope this helps.

  First we do not know how old we want to adopt up to, yet.  We are still praying about this and it will take a lot of consideration.  Luckily, we have until our home study is complete to put a check mark on the box.  Meaning we have until then to decide the age.  We know for certain we are not called to adopt a child that is older then 5 or 6 at this time.  We want them to be under school age.  In the future God may change our hearts and minds on this - but that is where we stand as of right now.

Second, there is a need for adoption at every age.  Yes the need to adopt older children is greater.  There are many children over the age of two who are simply overlooked because of their age.  But that is not to say there is no need for infant adoption.  If we decide to adopt a younger baby, that is our decision.  Again we are still considering up to what age we will be willing to adopt.  And we will decide what is best for our family.

  Next I want to address the adoption scandals issue.  We are researching many different adoption agencies to avoid any scandal.  Many agencies do in depth research about the children being placed up for adoption.  We are going to for sure, without a doubt, pick an agency that does this.  We want to make sure that the child who is placed in our home is a true orphan that really needs our love and care.  It is really sad that things like this happen.  We do live in a fallen world.  That is why it is really important to find a good agency that does its research. 
 
  One of the agencies we have looked at does this in depth.  They give the biological mother and family numerous opportunities to raise their child.  Then they try to match the child with a family in the home country.  If no family is found then they look outside the host country to place the child.  Even after the child is referred to a family the agency has the biological family look at the adoptive parents case before signing off.  Even after they are referred to the parents the biological family can change their mind.  They really do give the biological family every opportunity to raise their own child or have a family member raise them.
 
  If anyone is looking into adoption I strongly encourage you to research your agency first.  And thoroughly.  I would not feel right about adoption if I knew the agency we decided to work with did not research the child's family and background first.  We are still looking at various agencies, but like I stated earlier we are going with an agency that does its research. 
 
  If you are interested in adoption a good place to start researching is at the Department of State.  I would also recommend choosing an agency that has a Hague accreditation and safeguards intercountry adoption.  By working with an accredited agency you are making sure that the child's best interest comes first.

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

.adoption q & a.

.adoption q & a.  I have been getting so many responses to our adoption.  I thought I would put together a list of some of the questions we have been getting.  And of course our answers.  I hope this helps to clarify some of the questions people have.  Please feel free to email me or comment on this post if there are more.  I am sure that more questions will come up as we go along, but these are the frequent questions right now.  .adoption q& a.

Why do you want to adopt?
  We want to adopt for many reasons.  One, we would like a bigger family.  And this is one way to expand it.  Another reason is the need for adoptive parents is high.  There are over 140 million orphans in the world today (I saw one statistic that said over 160 million), million.  The need is overwhelming to think about.  I know that adoption is not the only answer, but it is one way to help. 
  The biggest reason for wanting to adopt is the fact that God has put this on our hearts.  God calls us to take care of the orphans and widows.  He has called us to.  It is all I (Desiree) think about.  And I know that passion is from the Lord.  I also know that I need to be obedient to what God wants me to do.  This is His will for me and I trust that He alone knows what is best for our family. 

Does this mean you are done having biological children?
  We don't know.  For the time being we want to focus on the adoption.  In the future we may have more biological children, we may not.  We simply don't know.

You have two young children, are you Crazy to add a third?
  We may quite possibly qualify for CRAZY.  But we know our hearts are big enough for a third.  And if you look at the timeline (next Q down) the process does take a while and our children will be older.

What does the timeline look like?
  We cannot start the process until Asher is one.  That will be September of 2011.  The whole adoption process will take around 12 - 18 months.  Some are shorter and some are significantly longer.  We will most likely bring our baby home sometime in late 2012 to early 2013. 

How old will the child be?
  We do not know.  Right now we are still deciding up to how old we want to adopt.  We are thinking that we are going to check the box that states we want a child as young as possible.  Our child could be anywhere from 3 months to 2 years.  Most families bring home babies that are around a year, unless they have decided on an older child.  

What are you adopting? A boy or a girl?
  We are open to adopting a boy or a girl! We are letting the Lord decide what is best for our family.

Where are you adopting from?
  We have chosen to adopt from Africa.  Right now the country we want to adopt from is uncertain.  Ethiopia has the most established adoption laws and there are many agencies working there right now.  However, many more countries are opening up international adoptions and our hearts are open to them as well. We will have until our home study is complete to make a final decision. 

Why Africa?
  I (Desiree) have always had a heart for Africa.  I am drawn to the people, the land, the culture.  Every time I hear something about Africa my heart skips a beat and I am intrigued.  In 2008 I traveled with my friend Mandie to Liberia, West Africa.  I love it there.

Why not adopt from the United States?
  There are children in the U.S. who need to be adopted, I know that.  However the children in America do have the foster care system.  I know it is not ideal, they need permanent families.  I do get that.  And the need is great.
  Consider this though, the orphans in Africa (and other third world countries) are left to fend for themselves.  They do not have any government assistance.  They literally are on their own.  If these children do find themselves in an orphanage they still have to endure conditions that are horrendous.  I have seen it, they are hungry for food and affection.  They simply do not get enough.  (I literally could go on about this for days, to read about some of the stories from an African orphanage visit my letters from Liberia page.)
  I also know where my heart is and God has placed it in our hearts to adopt from Africa.  Kids in America need to be adopted, kids in Africa need to be adopted.  There are orphans every where that need homes. 

How much will it cost?
Around $30,000

How can you afford that?
  We can't afford adoption on our own!  There is no way we have that kind of money just sitting around.  We are calling on our friends and family to help us in this area.  We know that God put this on our hearts.  We also know that He will help us in the financial area.  When God's people work together mountains are moved.  We are excited, and nervous, to see how this all plays out.  Right now we just have to trust that God will help us through.

How can I help?
 There are many ways we need our friends and family to help!  The first and most important way you can help is prayer.  It means so much to know that we have people praying for us, for our family, for our little one and their family.  It means more then anything else and truly helps.  We also need people to spread the word about our adoption.  This way more people can pray and support us through the process.
  There are also many ways we are trying to raise money.  Because the $30,000 is not going to raise itself.  By telling others about our fundraisers you are helping a ton!

So what are your fundraisers?

Coffee Fundraiser:  
  This fundraiser is by Just Love Coffee.  They are roasting fair trade specialty coffees, Just Love uses proceeds to help an Ethiopian orphanage and families adopting not just from Ethiopia, but from anywhere in the world.

Raffle Fundraiser
  Each month I will be offering a handmade item, either one made by myself or one I receive through a donation.  Everyone will have the opportunity to purchase a raffle ticket and possibly win the prize.  Each ticket is only $1.00.  January's raffle item is a scarf hand knit by me!

*If you would like to donate an item I would love it!

Fundrazr:
  This is a fundraiser button that is posted to a facebook page.  If you feel inclined we would love it if you could share it with everyone to help spread the word. 

Future Fundraisers:

  Spring Raffle Week:  I am planning a raffle week (well, two actually).  This will happen in late March.  I am currently taking donations to be raffled off.  Items that I am looking for are handmade items, jewelry, soap, etc.  Basically anything that can be sent in a small box.
 
  Garage Sale:  I am also planning on having a garage sale sometime this summer to raise money.  If anyone would like to donate items for that I will be taking them in the spring.  All items will be needed for this.

*If you have any other fundraiser ideas we would love to hear.  Thank you!

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

.our big announcement.

.our big announcement.  You may have noticed some changes around the blog & shop.  I have added quite a few adoption type links.  Adoption is on our hearts around here.  It has been something I have thought about since before I was married.  Since my trip to Liberia, back in 2008, I have known that adoption would be in my families future. While I was there God solidified my heart for orphans and for Africa. 

This fall my husband and I officially decided we would start the adoption journey within the next year.  We feel God really wants us to build our family in this way and we feel that he wants us to do it now.  I will give you a little background on how we decided & when. 

In October of this year I really felt God putting adoption on my heart.  I decided to pray and look into it a little bit more before I brought it up with my husband.  After all our son was only a month old & it did sound a bit crazy.  During the last weekend of October we traveled to a wedding in Saint Louis.  We drove and were in the car a lot.  On that trip I decided to bring up the idea of adopting soon.  Adopting from Africa.  My husband and I have talked about it before - so it didn't come out of nowhere, hehe.  We both decided it was something we were going to do to expand our family.  On October 30th we made it official - we were going to adopt.

In November we started looking into adoption agencies.  This lead to many, many, websites and many, many questions.  We watched a webinar and emailed questions to agencies.  We feel called to one particular agency, however our hearts and minds are open and we are still looking.  We realized that we will not be able to officially start until September, when our son is one. 

In late November & December we started telling our friends and families.  We started thinking of fundraisers.  We set up a just love coffee fundraiser.  We also set up an adoption raffle page.  The page will host a handcrafted item that will be raffled off each month.  January's raffle item is a hand knit scarf!

And that brings us to now.  We are currently still looking into different agencies - we have until September to decide.  We are also looking at different countries in Africa.  Ethiopia seems to be where most agencies work thorough, although there are other countries that are opening up international adoptions.

I am excited about our future.  I am also really nervous.  I am nervous about every step of it.  From raising money to bring the little one home.  I am scared and worried.  But, I know that God put this on our hearts and I need to hand my worries over to Him.  Because He will provide and guide us through this process.  .our big announcement.

.i found my camera just in time for this.

Monday, December 27, 2010

.christmas celebration.

.christmas celebration.  And it's back to reality for me today.  With the husband gone at work, I am trying to make it through the day with two over excited kids.  Ok, one over excited toddler.  One - did not get enough sleep baby.  I could use an extra few days of people cooking for me & helping with the kids. 

This year we spent Christmas with my husbands family.  It was only my third time away from my family at Christmas, and every time I tear up.  Does this happen to you as well?  Don't get me wrong, I love my in-laws.  All of them.  However, it is just not the same as being with mine.  Little things are different.  Aaron's family opens all their presents up one by one, everyone watching, oohing and ahhhing at each gift given.  Mine, well, we tear everything open all together until there is a big pile of paper on the floor and no one can see across the room, then we go to each others "piles" and investigate who gave what to whom.  Another difference is when the presents are all opened Aaron's family usually watches a movie.  Mine, play games.  Little differences.

 Even though there are little differences one thing stays the same.  We celebrate the birth of our Savior.  We celebrate with cookies and cake.  We celebrate with laughter and fellowship.  We celebrate with food and drink.  We celebrate with gifts.  We celebrate the birth of Jesus.  We go to church.  We sing.  We light candles.  We worship Him who came.

Even though I miss my family on Christmas, I am with family.  And, I get to celebrate the birth of my Savior.  The celebration really makes the little differences melt away and not seem so different.  I hope you had a very Merry Christmas, celebrating the birth of our Savior.  .christmas celebration.

PS: Half an hour before we left, I realized I lost my camera..... so I am waiting on our pictures from Aunt Jess.  She was nice enough to snap pictures at random and when asked this weekend.  Thanks Jess!

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

.around here.

Around here...Narnia exists!
And children play,
and cakes get made...
 and messes do too.
At Christmas time, friends come over,
 and sisters laugh,
and husbands and wives reconnect with goofiness.
Around here...gifts are given,
 naps are taken,
 Uncles hold babies,
and little girls play (and screech) with cats.
Around here, memories are being made.
Merry Christmas!

Monday, December 13, 2010

.giveaway day.

COMMENTS NOW CLOSED, THANK YOU!!!

.giveaway day.  Hello Sew Mama Sew readers!  I know you all love to enter these giveaways and then go on to the next, but if you want I would love to have you stay and look around a little bit.  This round I am giving away a mystery prize.  (Only because I have yet to decide).  It will be something handmade, most likely from my shop, and some supplies.  Trust me when I say I put together nice giveaways.  I don't skimp.  .giveaway day.

To enter the giveaway you need to:
*leave a comment telling me one way I could improve my shop (either shop: etsy or zibbet)
or
*leave a comment telling me your favorite item from my shop. (either shop: etsy or zibbet)
and
*leave your email in the comment.
the details:
*USA residents only.  one entry per person.  open until Friday December 17th. 

Thanks for playing!

COMMENTS NOW CLOSED!

Friday, December 10, 2010

.christmas outfits.

.christmas outfits.  I wanted to make my children's Christmas outfits each year.  That was decided before life went crazy and I ran out of time.  Since we are celebrating with my family this weekend - we need them.  Today I gave in and bought Lydia a dress.  It is super cute and simple and black.  And I probably could have made it if I had more time.  Asher however is hard to shop for.  It seems that there are no little boy Christmas outfits to buy.  Am I blind or is this true?  I mean, I find the cutest outfits for toddler boys but nothing smaller.  So, since Lydia is wearing plain black I decided to make Asher's.  Black matches anything. 

To make Asher's outfit I got out some scrap fabric leftover from Lydia's dress last year.  I appliqued a tie onto a onesie and I made a little vest.  I hope it fits.  I hope it matches fine.  And I hope it doesn't fall apart - since I made it super fast, it might.  Crossing fingers.  .christmas outfits.

What about you.  Do you make your children christmas clothes?  Do you buy?  If you have boys are they always hard to shop for?

Thursday, December 9, 2010

.gifts of compassion.

Before this post I would like to say sorry for such a downer of a post on Monday.  Sometimes I get so caught up in darkness of this world that I forget that there are many ups too.  Yes there are starving children out there that need our help.  But I forget that there are many people out there helping too.  After this holiday season, I think, I will be posting some stories from Liberia.  Lessons that I learned. 

I am also sorry for the irratic posting.  We are sick around here.  And with two kids under two there is limited time to blog.  Thank you for understanding.
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.gifts of compassion.  This Christmas season I feel like a lot of people are shopping with a purpose.  Maybe it's just me, but I can feel this change in giving.  It's out there.  It's real.  And it's about time.  After all God came with a purpose.  And He came for you and me.  We should, I feel, give gifts with a purpose too.  Give gifts that mean more then I spent x amount on you - you should do the same for me.  This year we are going give back to Jesus.  We are going to give to his people.  Because he gave us so much. 

This year Compassion International has a gifts of compassion catalog.  These gifts range from $10 - $5,000.  And they mean a lot.  This on-line catalog provides you with a chance to get gifts that mean more without the horrible traffic, long lines, and stress.  Did you perk up at no traffic like me :).  By picking out a gift from the catalog you could help change the life of someone who is living in the poorest conditions of the world.  Clean drinking water, medical treatment, and food supplies are just some examples of what you could help buy.  These are real gifts that need giving.  These are real needs that need to be meet.  These are real people who need our help.

Please consider looking through the catalog with me.  I am super excited to give a little more.  And to give with purpose.  .gifts of compassion.

Do you give with a puropose?  Do you give through compassion?  Do you have another organization you give through, like world vision, or heiffer international?  I would love to hear how you give.


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If you don't know anything about Compassion... let me tell you a little. Compassion International is a Christian child advocacy ministry that helps to release children from spiritual, economic, social and physical poverty so that they may become responsible Christian adults. They help more then 1 million children in 26 countries. Compassion is amazing at what they do. Sponsorship doesn't cost a lot ($38.00 a month) and you get so much in return. Consider sponsoring a child today.

For more information on Compassion International go to their website. Or their blog. To sponsor a child go to their sponsor a child page.

Monday, December 6, 2010

.depraved indifference.

.depraved indifference. I watched this video last Friday and it shook me up. It touched my core. I felt it rise something that I buried within. And it hurt. Badly. Deeply.

It has been nearly three years since I went to Liberia.  And what have I done to share the lessons God granted me there?  The lessons that changed me?  To be honest not much. I have kept most lessons for myself.  And my immediate family.  And the shame sets in. I have not done my part to share about the people I met. I have not lived up to praying for those I cared for. The ones I called friends. The ones I call friends. Those I long to see again.

I have not done much of anything in telling others how my heart aches and how I long to be there again. I have bottled it up for far too long. I have kept the pain somewhere deep. Hidden.

The pain I still get from looking at a simple crayon. The pain I get because I once saw an orphan eat one. A blue one. Not out of curiosity but out of despiration. Despiration that does not exist here. I also know the joy one little crayon can bring to even adults across the world. The laughter that happens in grown men when they scribble with one. For the first time. I have bottled up the fact that such a simple crayon can bring so much emotion and so many memories. Both of joy and grief.  Silliness and Sorrow.

I urge you to watch the video. And feel moved. And read my stories. And act out of love. For Him. Because He Gave His Life.

If Christmas is really about Christ how are you helping his children? How am I? .depraved indifference.

Friday, December 3, 2010

.the problem with being crafty.

image source Kristina Marie

.the problem with being crafty.  I have a bad habit, one that has been driving me nuts lately.  Nuts I tell you.  One that I need to get over.  I craft.  And that alone is not a bad habit, it's a really good thing actually.  The problem comes in when I look at other peoples crafts and say, "I can make that".  And then I try.  With-every-single-thing.  I mean seriously.  I have about a million and one projects started at my house and I should really just focus on a couple.  I really need to let go of my over-productive self so that I can start enjoying what others create.  Without the need to make it myself.  Without the want of buying more items to make one little craft.  .the problem with being crafty.

Did you catch the part I am really hung up on? ... enjoying what others create. 

I hope today you can look around the blogsphere with me and just enjoy the beauty of what others have made.  There really are some masterpieces. 

If your crafty, do you struggle with this?

Thursday, December 2, 2010

.the stockings were hung.

.the stockings were hung.  Remember that ridiculously huge paper wreath I made this summer?  It was the one I made for this time of year.  The holiday season.  Now that this spectacular season is here I put it up.  Along with all of our stockings.  Because St. Nick is coming.  Although I am not sure how he will sneak in, since we have no fireplace.  It actually makes my house look festive.  And fun.  And I am going to add my paper garland as soon as I untangle it.  Which should be sometime next year. I hope you are having fun decorating for the season.  .the stockings were hung.

What are some fun ways you decorate?